Sunday, November 10, 2013
The X Factor, fifth live results, review
Tonight the plucky wannabes on X Factor saw through their own starry eyes that should their dreams of global fame and fortune come true, and they get so big that they bag a three-year residency in Las Vegas and make enough money to build a water park in their garden (look it up, it's true), they too could look as utterly limp and joyless as Celine Dion.
Well, it's her or Robbie Williams, tonight's other star turn, who performed on a boat, dressed as a sailor, and was promoting his new swing album, which has some silly swing-related pun in its name, just like the last one he did. Mmm-hmm, he was promoting a swing album on Big Band Week – what a coincidence! But at least Robbie always has a smile on his face – albeit a rather self-satisfied one – and at least he's seen X Factor before. In fact, one gets the impression that, now that his partying days are over, he sits in watching it every week with a cup of tea and some tasty artisan crisps, just like the rest of us. Oh yes, like Celine, he is truly living the dream.
But enough about the star performers. The results bit of tonight's results show – essentially the last ten minutes after 50 minutes of recaps and PR – was genuinely tense for the first time, since most of the acts left in are half-decent. Sam Callahan deserved to go – even Sam Callahan knew that – but, now that boy band Kingsland Road have gone, teenyboppers need someone to fancy so, much to the barely-disguised fury of Gary Barlow and this here X Factor reviewer, he once again sailed through.
Instead, two of Nicole Scherzinger's girls found themselves in the bottom two – namely Hannah Barrett, the best act in the competition, and Abi Alton, the seventh best act in the competition. Both girls sung for survival without any shoes (Diana Vickers left quite a legacy, it seems. We'll know who to blame if there's a verruca outbreak in X Factor HQ) and both plumped for contemporary pop hits; Abi did one of her trademark stripped-down versions of Ed Sheeran's Lego House, and Hannah belted out Wrecking Ball far better than Miley Cyrus (which is awkward, since Miley herself is performing on next week's show, probably with her internal organs on display since we've already seen every inch of her body).
It was obvious that Abi was going to go, but as her chin wobbled and her mascara streamed down her cheeks, it was still tough to watch. Even though TV's most tactile presenter Dermot O'Leary reassured her that she wouldn't be going back to her old job as a Morrisons check-out girl, one can't help but think that Abi, who visibly winced every time Sharon Osbourne directed some feedback her way, probably isn't tough enough to make it as a pop star. But she would still be a more valid X Factor contender than that cocky little squirt Sam Callahan. He has to go next week.
Source : http://telegraph.feedsportal.com/c/32726/f/568414/s/33866c50/sc/5/l/0L0Stelegraph0O0Cculture0Ctvandradio0Cx0Efactor0C10A4355770CThe0EX0EFactor0Efifth0Elive0Eresults0Ereview0Bhtml/story01.htm
